All Of Me
by aoshi02780
Summary: Sequel to 'My last breath' Aoshi reflects his thoughts about Misao's death and what happened the night she got stabbed.....Again, this is not a happy story.........rated just to be safe for gory thoughts and language.....


"All of Me"

By: Kelli St. Pierre……………sadly I do not own Rurouni Kenshin

I also do not own this song, this song is by Evanescence…………………

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The air was crisp and cold as gusts of winds blew over the brown dead leaves on the ground. The leaves on the trees also joined the brown ones as their was swirls of brown, green, and orange dancing in the sky. Their was little warmth due to the sun almost setting behind over the mountains. The grounds and the fields looked dead as not a soul was seen.

Not a soul was seen _except_ for the brooding figure on the top of a high hill, in the back of a certain restaurant. But figure was not alone as his companion was a gray stone, which came to the figures knees. Leaves danced their way around the two of them as they stared at one another.

Aoshi Shinomori stood in front of the so called "companion" with black eyes. But these were not the eyes full of chaos and rage, no, these were the eyes of depression and regret.

He had come here not so long ago, not until everyone had left the funeral. Everyone being Okina and the others, and also some people who he did not recognize. But what did that matter? Basically now he did not recognize anyone since all he saw was blurs of grays and blacks. Nothing important mattered to those bloodshot black eyes, nothing mattered _anymore_.

He had made sure to come when no one was around so he could be alone with _her_. Or maybe was it so that no one would see him cry? So no one would see that behind the ever cold stoic face, that their lie a child with a broken heart. Even he did not have the answers to those questions, and possibly didn't want to.

_I'm so tired of being here…….._

He closed his eyes slowly as he thought about of all what happened. How he did nothing to save his Misao but just watch her suffer and die in his arms. He hated himself for it, for he could not save the one thing he loved, he should have picked her up and quickly brought her to the hospital. But no, he had to be the stoic idiot he is and just sat their, while the one he loved died slowly and suffered.

_Suppressed by all of my childish fears…………_

Loved

Funny, it was just about twenty hours ago that he never even believed in the word. Never cared for it since a warrior as himself never needed it. He also thought of it as a weakness, but until not, he learned that not having love is more of a weakness than anything. Especially if the love was gone right in front of your eyes.

_But if you have to leave..._

But Aoshi would have never of been their if it wasn't for Okina. Okina was the one who talked to him about his feelings and getting them straight. Of course being cold as ice as Aoshi is, it took awhile for him to finally see Okina was indeed right. Okina was on the winning side with these things. Aoshi had gone to Misao's room looking for her, but didn't' see her. But he was not alarmed as he knew that she was most likely going for a walk as she usually did. He went outside to look for her until he heard a gasp and a scream mixed together. By the time he got to her, she was already on the ground and the bandit had just started running.

Aoshi's jaws clenched.

Just thinking of the bastard made his blood boil. How he could just ruin not only her's but his life as well! But Aoshi made sure he would not escape such a gruesome crime without paying the price, the price of making his Misao suffer. He remembered it clearly, it was not long for him to recover mourning over Misao and then got up and ran towards where he went. With his speed, it only took twenty minutes or so to find the bastard. He made a small camp site in the middle of the wilderness and of course was not expecting someone to come, especially Aoshi.

Aoshi gulped as his thoughts continued.

He remembered how he knocked the man out unconscious with one blow to the face. How he tied him up to a tree as Aoshi retrieved his twin Kodachi's. How he slowly tortured the bastard by slicing the skin away from his body everywhere. How the bastard couldn't scream in pure agony as Aoshi wrapped cloth around his mouth. How blood sprayed and squirted its way to the neighboring trees, as rivers flowed through the grass. How none of it helped.

True, so true, none of that hatred helped him. Right after Aoshi killed the bastard, after hours of torture, he dropped his kodachi's and his knees. He wept all over the blood soaked ground, and the massacred body.

_I wish you would just leave………_

God it didn't help at all when the sun came up when he stopped weeping. The sun reminded of her so much that he could have sworn he saw her body, her soul, guiding him. It was too much for his heart to handle. In a way he wished she would leave and stop haunting him. In a way she made him suffer more, though he deserved it, her figure showed him another important person in his life he wasn't able to protect.

_Because your presence still lingers here……_

_And it won't leave me alone…._

The spirit kept bugging him as he marched down the forest to retrieve the body of his love. It kept gnawing at his heart, telling him things he didn't want to hear. But some of the things the spirit said helped him to be where he is today. For he would have ended his life long ago with his own Kodachi, if it weren't for the spirit to tell him to "live on". It also told him to retrieve her body, which was Aoshi was doing.

_These wounds won't seem to heal……_

_This pain is just too real………_

_There's just too much that time cannot erase……._

His whole body was filled with pain, but not the physical pain he was so used to. No, this pain was ten times worse, no, one hundred times worse! He felt the pain gnawing at his heart, or what's left of it. The pain took away his Misao, his light. Speaking of his love, he had picked up her cold, broken body to her room and laid her on her bed. He made sure a note was their to tell the other's what had happened, but dare not wish to say it to their faces. God no, to see those faces full of sadness, sadness towards him that he could not save her, he would not stand for it. He had left somewhere in the forest just to himself so he could weep and hopefully to let the other's think he left for good

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears……….._

_When you scream I'd fight away all of your fears………._

_And I've held your hand for all of these years..._

Aoshi sank into the memories when Misao was a little girl, when these problems never existed. He remembered how he did wipe away her tears and always brought a smile to her face. He'd always helped her stop crying when she would get hurt by making jokes about Okina, since he knew she hated him…..in a funny way though.

He also remembered he'd always be her hero to fight her fears. Whenever a little spider was in her room, she'd come to him late at night to kill it for her. Or when a thunderstorm erupts in the middle of the night, she'd run to him for him to hold her.

_But you still have……_

_All of me…._

Aoshi sighed. Remembering these thoughts brought in more pain he did not need.

_You used to captivate me……_

_By your resonating light……_

_Now I'm bound by the life you left behind………._

Of course he was captivated. Who couldn't be with ocean blue eyes, her perky attitude, and her weasel side, everything about her! Every time she handed him tea she was happy and cheerful, always talking about this and that. Her voice sang through Aoshi's ears.

_Your face it haunts…._

_My once pleasant dreams….._

He had always dreamed of her, ever since he came back. He dreamed of her in ways that delighted him and made him ashamed of himself. Either way, it was her in every one of them. Now, seeing her haunts him and causes him more suffering. And yet, not seeing her causes him grief as well.

_Your voice it chased away……_

_All of the sanity in me….._

Aoshi reopened his eyes towards the so called "companion" as few words were written on it…..

Makimachi, Misao

May peace be with you

'Yes,' Aoshi thought, 'May peace very well be with you.'

_I've tried so hard to tell myself that you gone……_

_And though you still with me….._

He has been trying to say that to himself for so long, and the result is the same: Weeping, Grief, Pain. It's just that one part of Aoshi that keeps thinking she's alive, or when she will serve him his tea. Sometimes he feels her presence behind him, in front of him, around him, but never seeing anything. It's the same now, he can feel her presence behind him as the hairs on his back stood up.

_I've been alone all along….._

Aoshi turned his head behind him, but saw nothing over his trench coat. Nothing except for the leaves swirling and dancing all over the place. And yes, he was wearing his old trench coat, along with his old uniform. But he did not have that warrior pride that he always had. What he had was messy hair, bloodshot eyes, and a leaning stance. If someone saw him, he was sure they'd be scared and think him a ghost for how pale he was.

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears……….._

_When you screamed I'd fight away all of your fears……._

_And I've held your hand for all of these years….._

_And you still have……_

The sun was setting low now and was starting to get dark. Aoshi was not sure what he would do with his life but one thing was for sure. He would live on as she told him to. Of course, not the Aoiya, somewhere far away where he can leave himself to suffer until she says he can join her.

Aoshi took a couple of steps towards the stone hill until it was mere inches away. He sank to his knees as two larges arms came around the stone. Aoshi brushed his head to the stone and whispered his last words to it……

"Farewell my love, I shall see you soon."

Their was barely any sun left as the leaves danced around the stone, and the now hugging figure.

_All of me..._

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Yay, finally got it done. I've been up late typing this and finally I got it done. Hopefully it's good, I was and still am tired. Maybe can tell me which one it better, my last breath or this. I don't know for me. For this fic I didn't want Aoshi to kill himself since that's probably what you're expecting to happen. And also to live life and listen to misao's spirit. Of course while typing this thoughts ran threw my head saying that 'Misao should come back to life as a zombie' and other thoughts but thought that it would kinda ruin the fic so didn't. So please read and review and I do love to take advice from anyone since it'll help me become a better writer…..:)…..


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